After tomorrow, you may never hear from me again…

18 Apr

I’m totally joking with the title of this post. Kind of (relax, mom).

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you have probably heard about my slight lack of judgement in agreeing to be on a 4-woman, 26-hour adventure race team. Yes. You read that correctly. TWENTY SIX HOURS STRAIGHT of adventure racing. My friends that know me best literally laughed in my face when I told them this. See, while I may look in shape, it’s all due to my metabolism. Sure, I was a college athlete but ever since I have never voluntarily worked out a day in my life. I know, I know…I’m very lucky, but eventually my metabolism will fade and everything else will start to go with it. You can see the problem this race hands me. You can’t just walk up to one of these things without training like I usually do with 5k’s. This requires daily training and not just going for a run. Mountain biking, canoeing, hiking…yup, I have to do it all. And I have been over the past couple months.

What exactly is adventure racing? Well, it’s nothing I have ever done, but for some reason I thought it would be “fun.” I’m extremely competitive and enjoy outdoor-sy stuff in general, so why not, right? Most races consist of canoeing, trekking, mountain biking, hiking and navigating. Along the course you will have check points (some mandatory, some optional) that you have to find and navigate to (This requires use of a topographical map and compass. I totally should’ve paid attention in geography) and check off on your passport. Your total score is calculated based off of how long it takes you to finish the course and how many total check points you hit. Adventure races can start as short as 4 hours and graduate up to multi-day races. And for my first ever adventure race I decided a 26 hour event was a GREAT place to start. I’m officially crazy.

Tomorrow I fly out to Luray, Virgina where I will meet up with my teammates (Eliza, Survivor alum, and Jodi and Sarah, both from Amazing Race). Oh, and have I mentioned that all of us have never adventure raced before AND we have never raced together. FUN TIMES! And for good measure, here’s the weather report for our race:

You see Saturday and Sunday? Yup, that says 40% chance of rain and thunderstorms on the day we start the race and a 70% chance of rain all the way through to the finish on Sunday. Awesome. Being soaking wet, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of the night, in 50 degree weather sounds like the best way to spend this upcoming weekend. In fact, here’s a look at what this weekend entails:

100+ miles of racing. BRING.IT. ON. Saturday morning we start our race with the 5-6 hour canoeing portion. Canoeing in rain and thunder, another brilliant idea (are you sensing a pattern here?). We then head off to do some trekking, hiking and mountain biking…this will all probably be done through mud since it will be raining, but hey, why not?! Here’s a sample of what part of our mountain biking portion will be like:

Our main focus is going to be keeping up our pace in order to make it to a big mountain we have to get over and down before nightfall. It’s going to be almost too steep to bike so we will be pushing our bikes up it. If we don’t make it down before nightfall, we will have to walk our bikes down the backside of the mountain (which will take way too long & use more energy, energy that we probably won’t have) as opposed to being able to ride our bikes down if we still have some light. Once on the back side of the mountain the ideal plan would have us resting a little and eating some food before we take off to find a bunch of optional check points. I’m guessing we will have next to zero energy and will hate our lives at this point, so we may not really go for any of these. So then…we wait. Once day break hits we push our bikes back up the mountain, ride ’em down and head to the finish line. Again…I’m crazy.

How did I get involved in all of this? Whelp, that falls to Champion System and Rev3. A while back I was asked to be on a “celebrity” (HA!) racing team for a clothing company, Champion Systems. They wanted to pull together “celebrities” that enjoy being active to wear their gear and participate in a variety of physical competitions, which led to the launch of ACT (Athletic Celebrity Team). I figured I’d do a 5k here, a 5k there and would enjoy the free clothes. Plus, who could say no to being on a team with THE Zach Morris?! Champion Systems has a great connection to Rev3 and Rev3 thought it would be just SUPER to put together an all-female team to tackle their 26 hour Epic Adventure Race. And now I’m here, a day away from possibly being attacked by a bear, freezing to death, eaten by ticks and learning all sorts of things about my body I never wanted to know.

In all seriousness, I’m REALLY excited for this. Of course I’m also freaking out inside but I know I have amazing teammates, have TOTALLY (I think) prepared for this, will be wearing great clothing to keep me warm & (fingers crossed) dry compliments of Champion System and will be grateful for the equipment and support of an amazing racing family in Rev3.

We have no idea if we will have cell service throughout the course but I plan on taking photos and video and pushing them out through my Twitter and Facebook pages so you can follow along and see how we are doing! Think of it like living in one of the Districts during the annual Hunger Games where you get to take a look at people fighting for their lives…except with our race there won’t be any deaths…hopefully. (Side note: after reading Hunger Games and seeing the movie it TOTALLY made me more excited for this race. I think I’m going to get a mocking jay pin and bow and arrow to wear during the race just for fun. I’m so channeling Katniss.)

If you want to get updates from us during the weekend be sure to give us all a follow on twitter:

Marissa: @MarissaJustMay

Eliza: @EOrlins

Jodi: @JodiWincheski

Sarah: @Saritalesh

Rev3 will also be posting general race updates so give them a follow, too, @Rev3Adventure. And because they are an awesome sponsor and can get you set up with virtually any clothing you would need for a competition, check out @Champion_System.

Keep us (and all the other racers) in your thoughts for a safe and fun adventure. After my body is done recouping and I can move, I will be sure to post an update on how the race went.

Wish us luck!


Bachelor Pad 3: Fans Vs Favorites?

12 Apr

By now, everyone in Bachelor Nation knows that the upcoming season of Bachelor Pad is open for fans to submit their applications to join in on the madness. In fact, Jake has even given you some tips on how to get picked for the show…after all, the dude has had plenty of experience.

I’m not sure how I feel about having fans enter the game (shouldn’t they have to earn their spot?) and we don’t know how they will be folded into the social aspect (will they get along with former contestants?) but, here are three ways I think this season of Bachelor Pad could be the best one yet:

1- Bring on the Exes!

No, not Bachelor family exes. It’s no secret that in applying for The Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants fill out a massive packet of information about themselves. Background checks happen, medical exams are performed and every move you have made in the past decade is told to Producers. One lovely little piece of information that had me scared stupid was telling them every relationship I had been in the past three years that lasted longer than a month. Are you KIDDING ME?!

One: I can’t even remember who I had dinner with last week (okay, that’s a lie…it was with my dog. but you get my point), let alone who I “dated” three years ago. Two: in today’s messed up world of dating, what constitutes “dating” someone? What if I put someone down because I think we dated, the producers call the guy to check out my history and he’s like, “Uh, who are you asking about? Oh, yeah yeah that chick with the crazy dog. Barely remember her.” Talk about embarrassing. Three: they want me to willingly give them phone numbers of men I’ve dated yet I can’t tell anyone I’m applying for the show or warn these guys of a possible call?? Talk about an awkward situation right there.

Anyways, producers have contacts of contestants exes and probably have us on tape talking about a major break-up or relationship that screwed us up enough to choose to go on this show. Why wouldn’t producers use that information? I mean, if we are going to bring in people that have never been on Bachelor/Bach’ette, why not make it interesting? Why not invite an ex of a former contestant from the show to be on Bachelor Pad and let that drama play out? I can tell you my jaw would hit the floor if I saw a certain someone from my past walk through the door on day 1 of BP. What’s even better about this situation is that the drama that happens would be 100% real. Nothing hyped up for TV, nothing made up for the ratings and nothing contestants can avoid because chances are they will have to face this person when they go home, too. One word: EPIC.

2- Newbies Need Help

I’ll be honest. Getting picked to go on Bachelor Pad is like a dysfunctional badge of honor. The talk amongst some former contestants has been that they feel you need to earn the right to be on BP first. Knowing that some possible contestants feel like this, I can easily see the newbies getting picked off one by one until only Bach/Bach’ette contestants are left to battle for the money. The only way I see fans staying in the game is if former contestants are forced to team up with a fan for the competition. While this may keep newbies in longer, it does take away from the “finding love” factor as people are forced to partner with someone they may not have a spark with. It’ll be interesting to see how the fans vs favorites format works out but I guarantee favorites will band together.

3- Better Challenges

I think we all can agree that the contests need a little more umph behind them. Either they end up being cruel and emotionally crude (while it may be entertaining to watch, do we really want to support bullying?) or the physical challenges are something we have seen on another reality show.

One reality show contest I wouldn’t mind seeing repeated? A Wipeout course! I mean, Wipeout is an ABC show…should be relatively easy to get a mini course set up, right? Or heck, the show is filmed in California…pack up the BP contestants and take them out to the real course! (And while we are on the subject, consider this my formal ask for ABC to do a Bachelor/Bachelorette version of Wipeout with the money going to a charity of the winners choice. And please, pick me!)  I also think it would be interesting if challenges require multiple teams of two to pair up in order to win. Producers could see what alliances are forming and then force them to work with different alliances in order to win challenges, which would totally throw a wrench in things. And no more arbitrary contests, like synchronized swimming.

Maybe it’s the athlete in me, but I want to see competitions that have a clear cut winner, nothing opinion based, and a win that is without a doubt earned by the winner.

Out of all of these, I would LOVE to see non-cast ex’s of former contestants walk through the door and compete on BP. The drama would be amazing! How about you guys? Any things you want to change with this upcoming season?

The Bachelor Finale: Hide yo’ puppies, Cruella De Vil is on the loose

14 Mar

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I have been HORRIBLE about doing blogs the past two weeks. And I know I started my last blog like this, too. BUT this week was the finale and I can’t leave y’all hangin’ when it comes to my final thoughts. There were many moments I screamed at the tv, went “huuuuuuh?!” and, yes, even smiled. Here we go…

Coming into this episode I COMPLETELY forgot that the family gets to meet the girls! I had such high hopes that the mom and sis would slide in and save Benny Boo Boo from the evil clutches of Courtney. And this face gave me hope:

Lindzi walks the plank first and mom comes out with guns blazing. Tough questions are being thrown at Lindzi and, even though she was crazy nervous to start the day, she answers with heart and sincerity. +1 for Lindzi.

Sister Jules is up next and she wastes no time throwing the bait. Julia wants to know all about this other desperate hopeful woman left in the game journey that doesn’t get along with others. Lindzi passes with flying colors by not throwing anyone under the bus, keeping things focused on her and not Courtney, and keeping negativity away. See, Court? It IS possible to go through this process and not bad mouth anyone!

The women loooove Lindzi and think she’d be a great fit. So do we. Which is never a good sign.

Ben gives a little background on Courtney and this is Julia’s reaction:

Love. Her. The direct stare into the camera asking “Are you KIDDING ME? a MODEL?!” is priceless.

Ben decided he wanted to channel Courtney’s most recent fashion spread for this date and decided to wear a J.Crew cardi…from the women’s catalog.

Major bonus,though: Ben’s hair looks the best it has all season!! I guess the saying is true…God doesn’t give with both hands. Can’t have it all, Benny boy.

Courtney spends her moments with Julia and the moms and they do a great job of asking her important questions. Courtney doesn’t do tooooo poorly when it comes to answering them. Other than lying straight to their face when she says they know everything. Everything, Courtney? Did you share the moonlight brownchickenbrowncow rendezvous in the ocean? Thaaaaat’s what I thought. Then again did we really expect her to bomb this portion of the test? I figured she’d put on the best front imaginable and win the fam over. Darn, her. I bet it’s from all of that worldly modeling experience. Go-sees are tough work, peeps.

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor about 50 times during the rest of this meeting. Hearing Julia say that she was blown away by Courtney had me throwing my shoe at the TV, screaming and completely taking back every positive word I ever said about her. I have never backtracked about someone so quickly. Officially. Hate.Her. (ok, not really, but you get the point) Moms and Jules must be suckers for the baby voice. Baby voice means covering real voice. Covering real voice means something to hide. Something to hide means she’s a LIAR.

Then we get Ben talking through his thoughts on the women-or rather talking through Courtney-with the fam. And we’re pretty much told that he is picking Courtney now that he has their approval of her. And now I no longer have a full pair of shoes or a functioning TV. Kinda funny he states that he knows hurdles are going to come their way and that he will stick by her. Ohhhh, the irony. We’ll get to that later…

Next up…final dates with Ben. It’s this point in the show I wish I had watched it through DVR rather than live so I could fast forward. Laaaaaaame. Creepy date in a suspended gondola, mushy talk from only Lindzi, awkward snow angels, annoying baby talk from Courtney. Ah…but the TV Gods are looking down on us. A love note! Let’s take a deeper look…

So she’s an excessive comma user, pulled out the dad card, wants to name their future children Joe or Forest (if either of those names are related to Ben’s father then that’s sweet…if not…what’s the inside joke to this one??) and still thinks mix CDs are cool.

I was really hoping to find some crazy talk or horrible grammar…but it’s actually kind of sweet. And I’m pretty sure my fingers are starting to disintegrate after typing that.

So D-Day arrives! Helicopters! Capes! Cruella De Vil?

You know what you say to someone you are about to get on one knee for? “You’re what I’ve looked for in a woman.” “I want you to know that I have fallen in love with you.”  Errr…or to someone you are about to DUMP?! I FLIPPED out when I heard these words come out of his mouth. Although, it couldn’t have been easy saying these things to her face (which is why he shouldn’t have). Here is Lindzi as Ben is sugarcoating things letting her down easy:

And then literally ONE second later:

Talk about someone who completely ate his own words! Do we need to remind you of this, Ben?

Scrub to 5:40 – 6:20

 Yeahhh….about that.

Whelp, time to dance with the devil.

“You love me?! I was beginning to doubt my go-to getting nakey move!” 

“This ring is heavy!” “Oh my gosh it’s beautiful.” “I love it!” 

Ok, ok, I honestly can’t be too hard on the girl. Her initial reaction to Ben proposing had me coughsmilingcough. But I can’t help but notice she had more of a reaction to the ring rather than Ben professing his love FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Next blog post I will get into my thoughts on the ATFR and where Ben and Courtney are at now. As a little hint: my thoughts have softened a little bit on this couple but I am not backing down from my original opinions. Give me a couple days to gather this one 🙂

The Bachelor, Episode 8: What exactly is like slash love?

22 Feb

As many of you noticed I didn’t get around to writing a blog recap for last week. I’m sorry about that but sometimes life gets in the way and ya just need a break from the crazy world of the Bachelor. But I’m back this week and ready to dissect every inch of this epi! Let’s get started…

Hometown dates. I love this episode because we get to see a side of the girls that maybe we haven’t yet, as well as get a look at where they come from. When I left for the show my brother had a full on plan of what he was going to do if I got a hometown date in hopes of winning America over and getting his own spinoff.  Sorry, Garrett…it wasn’t in the cards.

Lindzi starts off the week with Ben in Florida. This girl is so dang cute. I love how she always refers to him as “my boyfriend Ben.” 🙂 Her and Ben have developed a slow relationship and we get to hear her tell a little more about her relationship history. While Ben loves that she opened up he feels the need to question whether or not she’s ready to get serious again. Uhhhh…Ben. Less than three months before you walked into a room full of 25 eligible women you were down on your knee proposing. Why is it hard to believe that a year after a breakup Lindzi is ready to accept love?

I love Lindzi and Ben’s playful nature as they race around with her parents. You know what I also love? The awkward comments we get from parents during these hometowns:

“This is your opportunity to lay it on me.”

“Hit a ball, you ruin the course.”

It doesn’t stop there…just wait. I have more…

Ben and Lindzi end their night and go their separate ways. Am I crazy in that we aren’t really seeing a big love connection with Ben and any of the women? Maybe he’s not a touchy-feely kind of guy, maybe he’s just holding it all in, maybe editing has removed it. I find myself each week hoping for something to click and I just haven’t seen it. Doesn’t Ben know we only have two more weeks left?!

After Ben practices for his upcoming role in Gladiator, he jaunts off to the land where women are locked in their family homes until the age of 30, the state where parents don’t believe in babysitters and think their children should be glued to their side at all times, the place where living with someone before marriage is unthinkable. Hello Tennessee, Kacie’s home.

Kacie has been one of my frontrunners but has slowly dropped as her age has started to show. I think she has been caught off guard when it comes to the seriousness of where she is at and it shows in her actions and interviews. Annnnd in her outfits…

Can we get you to relax a bit and loosen that top button? I know you are visiting your parents but it’s ok if they see your collar bone.

Another takeaway…either Kacie drew the short straw when it came to the good hair genes or she has completely given up.

Her sister is proof though that good hair can be had in Tennessee, though, so no excuses Kacie!

And while we are on the topic of hair, what the HECK happened here:

Soooo…in between interviews Ben got a Brazilian Blowout??

Every season one girl ends up with parents that totally drop a Hiroshima sized attack on the relationship and this year the ones dropping the nukes are Kacie’s parents.

HIROSHIMA: Kacie: “If this continues I would want to move to San Francisco.” Dad: “When we’re talking about moving we’re talking about getting our own place and not moving in with him, correct?”

NAGASAKI: Kacie: “I would say yes if he asked me to marry him.” Dad: “mmmkay if he was to ask me if he could marry you I would probably say at this point no.”

This is the face of a girl lying to her overprotective dad when he asks if she will be living on her own before marriage.

Whelp, you can pretty much nail Kacie’s coffin closed. I hate to say it but parents really play a role in how everything goes from this point on. Ben could sense the tension before he even walked into the house. Sorry Kacie, even America knew you didn’t have a chance after that meeting. Don’t mean to sound harsh because Kacie is reallllllly one of my favorites but this epi sealed the deal on her going home.

Moving on…Nicki and the great state of Texas. I don’t know what it is but all of a sudden I REALLY like Nicki. She came out of nowhere and has really surprised me. Her genuine nature, positive outlook and experience are starting to separate her from the rest of the girls.

Nicki and Ben decide to get all gussied up in true Texas fashion and lucky for them Orville Redenbacher’s cousin hails from the great state of Texas AND owns a clothing store.

Not only do these two look freakin’ AWESOMEly ridiculous but I have ALWAYS wanted to go to a bar where they slide your drinks to you.

Coolest. Date. Ever. Nicki, I hope you have a spare bedroom or pullout couch because I am comin’ for a visit JUST so we can go to this bar.

There are obvious concerns that Nicki’s family has due to her rough go with her first attempt at marriage but Nicki’s dad is the example of how one frames their concerns yet still lets their daughter make her own decisions. Take notes, Mr. Kacie. BTW…pretty sure Kacie’s and Nicki’s dads were separated at birth.

Nicki and Ben finish a great date and Ben even admits that at times he looks at her and says he loves her. This is a huge statement to make especially when the fangs of Courtney are still latched in him but I like where this is headed!

Last but certainly not least, Courtney comes along and makes my state look like an insane asylum. After all this smack talk she starts back pedaling.

“I feel badly. I feel disappointed in myself for treating the girls the way I have.” Yeahhh…don’t even bother Courtney. Every time you try to redeem yourself, someone kicks a puppy. It’s easy to list your regrets now that you are separated from the other women and only see them at cocktail ceremonies. I strongly believe what matters most is who you are when no one is watching or, in this case, who you are when Ben isn’t watching. And in her case, it ain’t good.

Is this tablecloth purposely like this? And why are there bright springy colors being used at the end of October? Sorry…random thoughts. 

And what is this, twins week on the Bachelor? Ben’s sister Julia looks eerily similar to Courtney’s sister.

Back to the crazy things parents say:

“Marriage is life’s greatest gamble with only 50% chance of winning.” I think that statement right there says a lot about the way Courtney looks at this relationship…and I don’t think that’s for the good of the cause.

“And I want some grandkids!” ” That can be arranged.” And as a matter of fact we have already begun working on this. Just wait til January when the season airs…there will be a permanent reminder of how your first grandchild came into the world!

Courtney decides to totally rip of William and Ashley’s date from last season and set up a fake wedding except this time around Courtney and Ben write vows. This would be sweet except for the fact that Courtney totally jacks lines from Sex and the City. Ok, I can’t totally hate on her for doing this…I vaguely remember writing the lines of “One Sweet Day” in a paper football folded note that I passed to my 4th grade crush in math class. I wonder if Courtney played M.A.S.H. in her vow notebook, too, to figure out where her and Ben would be living…mansion, apartment, shack or house?!

And one more catch…did Courtney have her vows pre-written? Did she have a producer write them for her? As you can see she clearly has a smaller piece of paper on top of this Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper that she was supposed to have written her vows in. Shady business.

Outside of the fake apologies and hijacked vows, there are hints of cuteness and special bonding moments with Ben and Courtney. I find myself slamming my head into my computer every time I catch myself smiling. The thing is, as much as I or we or America may hate a side of Courtney, Ben hasn’t seen it and the way she is with Ben isn’t terribly horrible. But as the girls have said before, you can only hide your true colors for so long. Eventually Ben will catch on and if he is okay with it, more power to him. I just hope he’s okay with only having Courtney, her sister, his sister and mom as the only women in his life because I’m pretty sure Courtney is going to nix any other females coming within a 50 mile radius of his luscious locks.

All the women gather back together and it’s rose ceremony time. Not a shocker…Kacie heads home. But not before the crazy Courtney returns and has the most awkward reaction EVER when the women say their goodbyes.

Yup, knew your “regret” wouldn’t last long.

Even though I had a good idea that Kacie was going home it was so hard to see her exit. She really is a sweetheart and the right guy will end up coming her way. I can’t help that I burst out laughing over her potty mouth though…I’m sure daddy dearest wasn’t too happy!

Until next week!

The Bachelor Episode 6, How to Run a Guy Off 101

7 Feb

After last week’s jaunt down risqué behavior lane I hoped this week’s epi would put us back on track to finding love. Well…I was wrong. By a long shot. It seems like Ben is working backwards with these women…eliminating the ones he has no interest in, in hopes the one remaining sticks, rather than creating relationships and eliminating those that don’t work.

In Panama City Kacie B gets the first repeat one-on-one date! I think the two of them have an attraction to each other but they haven’t really dove in to understand their connection. Ben is playing cautiously with her because he recognizes her vulnerability…which may end up coming in between the two of them. But for now, I like this couple.

Both had to bring three items that they would want on a deserted island. FINALLY one of those god-awful questions you see us answer on has come to use! Kacie brings a stuffed monkey (uh?), corkscrew (before you judge, she reminds us “It has a KNIFE!”) and candy. Wow…I pray to the Lord above I never get on the same plane as Kacie. If I do, I will be changing my flight immediately for fear that it goes down and I’m stuck with the contents of Dora the Explorer’s backpack.

See? Dora has a monkey, too!

On this date Kacie and Ben are forced to get by on their three items they brought…wait. Uh…where did these flutes come from?

C’monnnn producers. I would’ve loved to see these two fend for themselves, live in the wild and actually have an alcohol free convo.

Later that night I finally see the depth I’ve been waiting for between these two. Kacie opens up about her struggles (eating disorder) as a young girl and Ben is nothing but supportive. It takes a moment like this to test the waters and the fact that Ben didn’t shy away from her problems is very refreshing to see. Apparently he does think with the lump between his shoulders!

Back at the ranch the girls get the next date card. Courtney was PUMPED to be on this group date:

And Blakeley was equally as pumped to be….on the two on one? Before everyone calls her bluff on the excitement she shared let me give my take as to why she was happy. During my season I got to the point where I wanted the two on one date, too. There came a time where the group dates had taken my “relationship” with Brad as far as they could and there needed to be a bigger step. If it meant a two on one to figure out if there was something there, I wanted it. I don’t think I would’ve jumped up and down and hollered for one but I think that was Blakeley doing her part to psych Rachel out.

Group date rolls around and Ben and the ladies are off to the wild. Jamie makes it a point to let us know she thinks Ben looks like a man’s man by driving a long boat on shore.

If there is one thing that men across the world should appreciate The Bachelor for it was that comment right there. These women are leaving this show with the bar set so low, men in each hometown should be sending thank you tweets to Ben. All ya gotta do is drive a boat on shore and you’re a man’s man. Dave Good needs to ship these ladies a copy of his book, stat.

Surprise, surprise Courtney is naked again! This girl just oozes class. She likes to call it “being one with nature.” I’d like to remind her that none of her lady bits are truly from nature. But Ben doesn’t have a problem:

Because he gets to see this:

I’ll get into my thoughts on her in just a second.

An apology to Courtney from Emily (not accepted BTW) and a racy convo between Courtney and Ben later, the group date ends with Lindzi getting a rose (much deserved) and Jamie having an uncomfortable conversation with Ben. Jamie mentions that she wants to make moves or act in a certain way with him but holds back. Ben doesn’t quite understand, although he should being that he has been in her shoes. Like I mentioned in a previous blog, group dates are a very weird dynamic. There are times where the Bachelor is pulled away, times when you can’t talk because any and every move needs to be on camera and times when everyone is segregated. In a normal world you would walk up to someone and just strike up a conversation but due to filming restrictions and then your own mental restrictions (because you are, in a way, trained to not do anything unless it’s being filmed) you don’t take action.

On to Courtney and her little monologue about men in her life. Courtney throws it out there for Ben to come visit her and “repay” the favor that she apparently gave him the week prior. What he needs to “repay” I’m not too sure…but he owes her in her mind. Courtney tells us she has a pattern in her life of men treating her great at the beginning and then she gets taken for granted. Ok…let me break it down for you chica. The reason why men treat you well in the beginning? That’s because they feel like they need to earn your love, trust and attention. You, on the other hand, use your body and physical features to get the attention of said man without him having to do any work…I’m guessing because you feel like you have no other cards to play. Once the guy realizes you’re giving him everything he wants from the start without any effort, of COURSE he is going to take it for granted. You didn’t make him earn it or appreciate it from day 1! Once you start treating yourself like you deserve the care and attention a man should give a woman, it will come to you, I promise.

Oh, and Ben…please stop praising Courtney for being the only one to step up and give you attention. You are drastically mistranslating her motive. Courtney isn’t giving you attention for you to feel as if she is interested. She is giving you attention so she gets your attention. All of her actions are to feed her need to feel wanted, not to make you feel wanted. She knows exactly what to do to turn it around and you have fallen for it every single time.

Awkward two on one date time! Blakeley is still pullin’ out the tough girl attitude and it’s actually working on Rachel. Granted, Blakeley has now admitted to us she isn’t as confident as she seems but, she is playing a great game in front of Rachel. I can’t remember the last two on one where we actually see the two on the date almost fighting for the lead. Will pulled the “throw your partner under the bus” move last season but these girls are literally trying to one up each other every chance they get! I really like Blakeley and am totally bummed she didn’t get the rose. Even though I kinda poked fun at Blakeley for her little notebook move on twitter, I’m not going to do that here. After all, I AM the girl who gave notes to Brad. Yikes. PS…why didn’t Blakeley call Ben out for attempting the same dump recovery that Ash did to him? He tried to sugarcoat that dumping like he was the local candyman in the creepy white van.

Before we arrive at the rose ceremony we get to watch Casey and Chris Harrison talk through her “BF” that she left at home. It’s not too random for a girl to have been seeing someone right before the show. I know of plenty of girls in which this has been the case. Women aren’t going to stop their regular lives before they go on the show. Yes, they shouldn’t get in a serious relationship and should be sure to end all things before coming on the show but, don’t be shocked if you find out a woman was seeing someone before. That being said, I don’t know how Casey thought that this could get by producers after filling out the million page personal history application. You pretty much have to list every person you ever lived with, had a relationship with, talked to, waved hi to at the grocery store and worked with for the past 20 years. Ok, maybe it’s not that extensive but it’s dang close! You give them all this information that they can do whatever they want with…contact whomever they please to find out information about you and Casey thought this would slip past them? I’m sure she’s doing just fine now but as a note to all future applicants, don’t assuming that the producers won’t do anything with the information you give them. In fact, expect the opposite.

someone should tell her not to talk and cry and the same time

FINALLY on to the rose ceremony. The only part worth talking about is Jamie. I saw it coming from a mile away and braced for awkwardness the second I heard her train of thought. There is nothing worse than trying to be someone you aren’t…except for trying to be someone you aren’t on national television.

“I have a surprise for you. I have a really big surprise for you. Do you like surprises?” – awkward

“When I go to bed at night, I uh, I uh, definitely think of you often.” – creepy

“I had really big plans for you. Do you want me to show you?” – awkward times a billion

“I like sitting on your lap. Do you like me sitting on your lap?” – uhhhhhh

By the way…these are all lines said by JAMIE. No, not a man. By Jamie. To Ben.

If I saw this face looking at me…I’d stop. And escort myself off the show.

If the guy I like laughs while kissing me…I’d stop. And RUN off the show.

And I haven’t even approached the kissing lesson she gives Ben. While I completely agree that he needs to be told to OPEN his mouth while kissing, this was so not the way to fill him in. It’s safe to say America’s was watching this part of the show behind their hands.

Sorry this blog was a little wordy and lacked in creative screen shots…this season is taking a toll on me! See you next Monday on twitter for live tweeting and back here next week for the recap. Belize is next on our adventure and apparently more women confront Ben about Courtney. Will he see the light? Probably not because with our luck Courtney is standing off to the side in her bikini.

The Bachelor Episode 5: No shoes, No shirt, Ben’s Problem

1 Feb

Sorry for the delay in this blog…crazy week. Let’s get to it!

We start this week heading to beautiful Puerto Rico…the place Courtney was sure to remind us last epi that she was at just a short two months ago. I wonder if that was while on vacation with John Tucker…

Alien lady apparently has a crazy sense of humor this week as she strolls in wearing a shirt that should’ve burst into flames the second she touched it:


Oh the irony. Nicki gets the first one-on-one date and is over-the-top excited. I really like Nicki, we just haven’t had a chance to really get to know her. Kinda like last season with Lisa and I. You all liked us, you just didn’t know it 😉 . I’m pretty excited to see Nicki and Ben together. The girls on the otherhand…well at first glance you’d think they were ticked off about Nicki getting the date but I’m pretty sure those looks are looks of confusion since the date card is in Spanish.


Nicki and Ben jet off on their date and I’m left with really only a few memories:

1- Nicki has horrible taste when it comes to nail polish


2- Nicki is one of those chicks that looks flawless without make-up and drenched. Hate her. But love her.


3- Ben should never wear a fedora.


At the end of the date I’m convinced Nicki should be amongst the few at the end. Ben was very interested in conversation with her and they open-mouthed kiss…something only reserved for special girls…and aliens.

On to the group date! This week everyone gets a date so whoever isn’t on the group date card gets the final one-on-one. Congrats Elyse. Not only was your reaction awesome (see below) but you did the annoying sorority-girl-run-into-old-friends-at-a-bar scream. If that’s not a recipe to be sent home I don’t know what is.


The girls head off to the group date and I realize the producers drastically got confused with date planning. This was supposed to happen last season and I was supposed to be on it. This date was MADE for me. As an avid baseball fan and former college softball player I.would.have.dominated. On second thought, it’s a good thing I wasn’t on a date like this. I would have verbally attacked every girl on my team that threw like this,


pitched a fit at every girl who swung like this,


and been highly disappointed if my bachelor wore pants like this.


Points for wearing stirrup pants (the way baseball pants are SUPPOSED to be worn) but massive negative points on the baggy pants. These girls get all dressed up for you, Ben, the LEAST you could do is wear some tight baseball pants to thank them. Trust me…that would’ve worked wonders in the feelings department for ya.

I love how competitive Blakeley was. Clearly she plays on the beer league team for the bar, I mean, classy club she’s a VIP cocktail waitress at. For those of you who were paying attention to the game, you may have noticed something that appears to be a little producer intervention. Ben tells us that the game was supposed to only be 2 innings long but they were tied so they went into extra innings. At one point we get this shot of the scoreboard:

If they played two innings and went into extra innings (which in the game of baseball means you play until one team is winning at the end of an inning) the game should’ve ended after the third inning with the blue team as the victors. And even if they played one more inning the blue team STILL should’ve won. I call shenanigans. Poor blue team. You better believe that if I was on the receiving end of some game manipulation I would have gone all Brian Wilson on them.

Here’s what I’m talkin’ about for those of you not up to speed on baseball happenings:

And by the way, Courtney saying “there’s no crying in baseball,” “rub some dirt on it,” and “walk it off” were lines that I bet were fed to her. She is so not a chick that would know sports lingo. And that smirk on her face tells me something fishy is goin on…

The end of the group date doesn’t really surprise me. Courtney is still doing her poor little look at me routine (although she is now admitting that Kacie B worries her) and Kacie B is still awesome…and gets the rose! Take that alien! Definitely fist pumped when that happened.

Final one-on-one of the week and Elyse “Who is She!” Personal Trainer is off with Ben on a yacht. Judging by two key things I’m saying this date goes downhill:

1- Britt from my season had this date and she was sent packing

2- ya see that little boat behind the yacht? I’m guessing that’s so Elyse can float on home when Ben gets tired of her.

Sure enough this date tanks. We don’t really see the date go wrong in any way but I’m guessing Ben had a pretty good idea that there wasn’t anything between them and just needed to give it the good ol college try to make for sure.

But the drama doesn’t stop there! We get Courtney “making good on her promise” and sneaking in to see Ben and go skinny dipping. Did you all notice how many times she “readjusted” her robe just so? Ben sure did.

My thoughts on this whole skinny dipping situation: I think it was pretty inconsiderate for him to do this. His instincts were that it was a bad idea. His reasoning was that he wanted more time with her. There are a billion things he could’ve done with her that didn’t involve THAT. At epi 3 when he sent Shawntel home his excuse was because it wasn’t fair to the other girls to bring her in. Yet he thinks doing THIS with Courtney is fair to them? Hmmmm. For his sake I hope the girl he ends up with (if he ends up with someone) is VERY forgiving.

Cocktail party rolls around and we see Emily get her second chance to chat with Ben. I was applauding her as she openly realized that she shouldn’t talk about other girls with Ben and told him that she learned her lesson. And then I facepalmed as she continued to rattle on and do EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID SHE WASN’T GOING TO DO. I hate to say it because I love Emily but she is starting to drop down the ladder of top picks. This must be her Dook side coming out. Her Chapel Hill side would never let her do this.

Rose time and I am SHOCKED. I never thought Jennifer would be going home tonight, especially over Rachel and Blakeley. At the same time I do understand this move. I knew she wouldn’t make it far because she was too nice for this (that’s the only way I can explain it) and Ben realized how fragile she was. He did the right thing in sending her home before she became too invested.

Sitting back and analyzing the girls left I’m feeling like there aren’t any true, strong connections. I really want to see something stick out with Kacie B, Lindzi or Nicki but I don’t see this huge spark. I see the lust between Ben and Courtney but not seeing the substance needed to sustain a relationship. Granted, we don’t see everything and a lot is cut out…but I’m waiting for the sparks to fly for both parties involved!

Here’s hoping people start to fall in loooooooove 🙂

The Bachelor Episode 4: Trouty, I mean, Pouty Mouth

24 Jan

After last week’s craziness with Shawntel’s return I was ready to see some true love connections start to bloom between Ben and his girls. Think about it…this time last season Chantal had her one-on-one and we could definitely see her and Brad both falling for each other, Emily got a private picnic at a rose ceremony (HUGE sign) and Ashley H is showed major signs of insecurity (Kacie B times 10) that Brad was happy to ease. So far all we’ve got is a baton twirling girl head over heels for Ben who can’t get truly kissed by Ben and a model who works a lot and travels a lot and bites her lip yet gets face-holding kisses from Ben.

The girls arrive in Park City, Utah and apparently some outdoor-sy dates are on the horizon. This is when I get really happy because all I picture are girls like Courtney and Samantha making fools of themselves as they struggle to fit in outside. We get a glimpse of Ben on a horse, a glimpse of him being somewhat comfortable and rugged on said horse. Don’t get too excited…I have a great action shot I will reveal later that totally negates this photo:

First one-on-one date goes to raspy Rachel. Kacie B, the girl who has already gotten a date, thinks she should’ve gotten it. Trust me, I know how this situation is hard for someone like her. I spent a lot of time reassuring Ashley H that Brad WAS truly in to her and that she had nothing to worry about. It was hard for her to see the way Brad looked at her when he walked in the room or how he always made sure to see her. We saw it, it was just difficult for her to see it. As much as I love Kacie B, I have very little patience for the tears and frustration. It happens EVERY season so how do girls not realize that they aren’t going to get back-to-back dates, they will see the guy kiss another girl and other girls will make a connection with the him?

Rachel and Ben head out for a picnic and Rachel seems to have forgotten a couple of things: a bra and the ability to converse with another human being.

I was smiling from ear to ear watching this awkward date. Their conversation seemed to be sinking faster than Alli and Brad’s dinner table during their one-on-one date in the middle of the swamp during my season. “You’re cool”, “I’m not winking at you I’m squinting”, “The stove in this room is amazing”…all perfect topics for a date, right? I was SO happy it was looking like this girl was being sent home on the date. Then all of a sudden they slapped some lipstick on this pig of a date and she gets a rose! Ok, Ben…eventually you are going to have to kick a girl to the curb instead of making out with them.

Next up…group date! Let’s see some chicks totally make fools out of themselves. Ben…I said let’s see the GIRLS make fools outta themselves, not you:
gif maker at

While she may annoy me, Courtney is playing this date perfectly. I have to admit, it’s very hard to act like you’re on a date when you are with a bunch of girls and one guy. It feels more like a group hang out and because of filming there are random down times where you aren’t doing anything and the Bachelor may walk away to talk to producers. You never know if it’s ok to approach him or chat it up during these times so the whole day feels pretty awkward. Courtney stepped up and did what no one else was doing and of course it grabbed Ben’s attention. Just because he’s the bachelor doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be shown attention.

In the middle of the blah blah blah of a group date we get Samantha being sent home by Ben. What ROTTEN luck she has coming to talk to Ben about why she’s on group dates when just seconds before Nicki thanks Ben for having her on them. Talk about a bad draw. I’m a little, no I’m A LOT, confused about how emotional she is being that we never saw any interaction with her and Ben but there has to have been something that we didn’t see.

Give Courtney an inch and she takes a mile. This girl continues to play this date perfect giving Ben just the slightest idea that she may be doubting whether she should stay. The girl who said she wasn’t worried about the group date all of a sudden flips the script and tells Ben she is concerned. And this is Ben’s response:

Geeze, with that look you’d think someone stole Scotch right out from under him! I don’t blame Ben for giving Courtney the rose. She appeared down, he really wants her to be comfortable, so he does what he can. Little does he know she was manipulating him the entire time. The good thing about this? It’s only the 4th episode and she has played the pity card already. No way can she use this trick again to get a rose. From here on out, she’s going to be struggling and waiting just like everyone else. And I like that 🙂

Final one-on-one this week goes to Ginger, I mean, Jennifer. Jennifer has started to grow on me. She isn’t someone who sticks out yet she has managed to grab Ben’s attention and hold on to it. No drama, no over the top antics. With her and Ben it’s really just about the two of them. Which leads me to believe that she will be going home broken-hearted. I’m already getting knots in my stomach thinking of watching her cry when she doesn’t get a rose. Nothing against you, Jennifer. But girls like you just don’t make it to the end on this show.

Cocktail party and rose ceremony lead to high tensions and more “winning”. Courtney’s use of this phrase, her lack of inflection when she speaks and zero movement in her forehead lead me to only one answer when it comes to her: she’s an alien that studied Janice Dickinson and pop culture about 5 months before she came down to earth to be on the show. The phrase “winning” was overplayed MONTHS before this show. Alien is my answer.

I gotta say I love Emily and I love her wanting to stand up to Courtney. But if you really can’t go without saying something, say it away from the guy and say it to the person you have a problem with. If Ben doesn’t see her acting out, he’s not going to just take your word for it and get rid of her. He may open his eyes a little more to see if he can pick up on something but you already know Courtney is smart enough to not make a wrong move in front of Ben. And then there’s Kacie S. Oh, Kacie. Every Regina George needs a Karen, I guess.

The drama ensues all through the ceremony as Ben waits to give Emily the rose until the end. But not before some classic Courtney lines: after hearing about going to Puerto Rico “I was just there two months ago”, and when clinking champagne glasses “I can go higher than anyone.” Alien, I tell ya.

Taking a look at the previews it seems as if more Courtney/Emily drama will appear. Emily, I hope you haven’t shot yourself in the foot.

Until next week!



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